My "Illustrious" Past

Oh, dear.

My mom recently found this ancient newspaper clipping. That's the back of my head along with a fine example of my early artistic stylings.

At the time, I was a lowly dairy clerk. I probably volunteered to draw on the chalkboard–and the management was happy to "take advantage" of my talent.

I was just happy to take a break from stocking shelves.

I had mischievous fun with many chalkboards. I recall a spaceship blowing up the store with a death ray. A dinosaur devouring the meat department manager. And Bill Clinton looking for a date on Valentine's Day. That last one received complaints, but my boss took the heat and spared the eraser.

It wasn't the best art gig I've ever had, but it was fun to have an audience. I would often get a crowd watching me draw. And I did develop a following of sorts – heck, the local paper even did a story about me!

And to those vandals who occasionally besmirched my work – HOW COULD YOU?!

I hope you are haunted by remorse.